Father of Daughters is followed on Instagram by 901k at the moment. His name is Simon Hooper, and he’s sharing with the world the lovely struggles, charming solutions, and awkward moments – like “THE talk” you have to have at some point with your daughters. There’s no pretending with Simon and the girls, he shares the picture with the world the way it is, no sugarcoating. That being said, Simon is one of the best dads in the world, and his girls are as sweet as they come. Each photo he shares comes with a hilarious and so true description; the story behind the conversation, how it came to it, and how it ended. You will have a joyful reading session if you scroll down a bit through his Instagram, and you’ll be wishing for more of their cute adventures. Simon also wrote a book that perfectly portrays his peculiar situation. “This is the story of my journey into parenthood, from being a 24-year-old man-child with no idea of what being a dad involved, to where I find myself today: the single male representative in a household of five women, or in other words, outnumbered.”
Instagram, Book (Amazon). “This week my eldest has been doing sex education at school. Shes very mature about it & having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid, no ‘front bottoms’ or ‘nunnys’ in this house, it’s strictly a ‘vagina’ affair (which coincidently would be a great title for a drama series on TV) That said, she’s chosen tonight (when @mother_of_daughters is away) to ask questions about men which makes me feel like an embarrassed child, but i promised to tell her the truth. My personal favourites – “do you wear a condom daddy?” Me – “Yes”. Then why do you have so many children? Touchè. “Have you and mummy had sex more than 3 times?” I laughed proudly – “Way more……like at least 9 or 10 times” ( I didn’t want to come across as a sex crazied maniac). Can wait to until she asks if I’ve ever masturbated…..I will actually curl up in a ball and die.” “team work makes the dream work. This is especially true if dream in question is to commit domestic based petty snack theft.” “The list of ‘Things to not do’ with kids grows with each passing year – Don’t give your kids the password to your phone, unless you want a phone bill with 3 zeros. Don’t, under any circumstances, let your friend bring round a tiny Chihuahua puppy, let them hold it and fall in love in the space of 30 seconds, and then yank it away, unless you want an afternoon of Armageddon size tantrums and a constant stream of abuse about how mean you are for not buying a puppy that wasn’t for sale in the first place. Lesson learnt.” Kids in isolation? No problem. “I helped the girls leave the house & do a flying lap of the nurburgring without stepping a foot outside. Was the effort worth it? In a word – yes. They ate their lunch there, played in there and generally had the best day. The only negative – the constant noise of cars for 2 hours but I’ll take that. Never underestimate the power of a cardboard box.” “Had I known that volunteering to take all 4 girls swimming would result a public body shaming at the hands of my own off spring & a day light mugging by a vending machine that refused to fork over the poppets, I probably would have just stayed at home.” One of the rules: “You absolutely must make towers out of soapy hair & time how long it stays in position.” “Be proud you can call yourself ‘dad’ – it’s a true privilege.” “This little hand is no ordinary hand: When life’s moving too fast and your focus is gone, when the noise is too much and your struggling to hear your own thoughts, When the world’s too big and you’re feeling insignificant, holding this little hand has the power to shrink it all down, to mute the world and to bring the cosmos to a grinding, momentary halt. Because this little hand, which I know so well, puts things into perspective and reminds me of what’s actually important. Whether it’s reaching out for reassurance, slowly stroking the back by neck while we hug, clasped in my hand for security, wiping a tear or squeezing my face, this little hand can make mountains crumble and tornadoes vanish on the breeze, with seemingly no effort at all. This little hand is the reason I’m proud to have people call me dad and reminds me how privileged I am to be able to play a part in the life of the person it’s attached to. Hold their hands tightly before they stop asking to hold yours.” Mother of Daughters “It’s the moment when I was getting headshots taken for my book & Ottie decided she absolutely positively couldn’t give me a moment to myself – transforming my moment, very much into her moment. Clemmie scooped her up seconds later & I can laugh at this now but it does remind me just how hard it can be to achieve the simplest of tasks when a wailing child is within close promixity.” “”Daddy, I really want a fringe” ⠀ “Can you wait until tomorrow, it’s late now and you’re supposed to be in bed. It’s 10pm” “Ok” 45 minutes later…..⠀ “Daddy, I cut myself a fringe”⠀ “I give up.”” “Ever wanted to look like a slightly eccentric grandmother? Let your kids give you a make-over…” “One day you’re quietly getting on with life, the next you’re being told that your daughter has been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. In that moment, the world seemingly grinded to a halt. We’re no strangers to the A&E waiting room, but this time it was different – this time it won’t get better or be ok after being in a cast – this, unfortunately, is for life and that’s the bit we’re all slowly coming to terms with. The last week has been a whirlwind of hospital stays, meeting doctors, nurses, dietitians and a lot of quick learning and at the centre of it has been an extremely brave little girl who understandably has alot of questions. The hardest part is answering things like ‘was this my fault? Did I do something wrong?” – and the answer is of course not – Type 1 just happens. The part I feel most guilty about is not seeing the signs, so thank god Clemmie was on the case – she put it all together, raised the alarm and got her into hospital before things became dangerous. It turns out there’s been a recent rise in type 1 diabetes in children, so I wanted to highlight the symptoms to look out for – the 4 T’s: 1). Tired – extreme exhaustion and irritable behaviour 2). Thirst – drinking alot more than usual 3). Toilet – going to loo more frequently, especially at night 4) Thinner – Marnie lost a lot of weight in a short space of time – I mistakenly put it down to a growth spurt. She’s now insulin dependent which means quite a changes to our lives, but with the love and support of family and the wonderful @nhsmillion and @diabetesuk, we aim to make this as easy as possible for our little girl.” “I’ve woken up to my fair share of strange things, but this morning took the biscuit. Somewhere between @mother_of_daughters leaving at 4.30am for work & 6.15am when I woke, Delilah decided to drag her half slumbering carcus the vast distance of 3 metres from her room to my room. The only problem was that her batteries were deader than a cheap toy the day after Christmas, so despite her best efforts, she literally fell at the last hurdle & instead decided to do a rather convincing impression of a door stop. So close & yet so far. Don’t worry, she didn’t have floor boards imprinted on her face – I transported her to my bed & spent the next 30 minutes with my arm slowly losing circulation as it was trapped under her unconscious frame, while she snored like an aging donkey with a sinus infection. All I could do was stare at the ceiling & think about that old ‘Friends’ episode tactic – “hug for her, roll for you” – man, I learnt so much from that show.” Make sure to visit Simon’s Instagram for longer stories for these photos and an endless archive of mischiefs.
“Post vasectomy, the doctor gave me this advice – ‘take it easy for a couple of days & try to just lie on the sofa”, he then smiled and continued “but I know you’ve got 4 daughters, so that’s unlikely. Just be careful”. ; via [ boredpanda]